It's that time of year again where my feet are itchy and my legs are restless. I've been cooped up for too long and I need to run and escape somewhere. I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I want something more to make me get out of bed in the morning, an adventure and some excitement rather than another day running its course, rolling into the next. Not that Theo's face and morning cuddles aren't something worth getting up for, they are, but sometimes selfishly sometimes I want more.
I feel terrible saying that. I feel like having a child and getting to spend all my days with him should be enough and I should feel very lucky that I can do this. Which I do of course, but sometimes there is a nagging feeling that I should be doing something more. I know it's because we're coming to the end of winter, and Spring has been teasing us with glimpses of warmer, longer days spent outside but I'm too impatient! I want it now. I want to be able to pack up a bag or the car today and head out on a real adventure.
When I was at University I spent a lot of time travelling around Wales for shoots or to help out my friend Sarah on hers. We would pack up our trusty cars, either Rennie or Penelope, pick up some sweets for the journey and make playlists. With a road map and some supplies we would begin our adventures to unknown places, meeting new characters and getting ourselves into some weird and wonderful situations...we have some stories to tell!
We spent a lot of time together, driving through beautiful scenery, talking through breakups and listening to great music. It was like therapy, a release. I often went on trips by myself too, to shoots or sometimes just to go. Sometimes there is nothing better than jumping in the car to escape to the countryside and think. Wales has some majestic power to be able to make all your problems disappear as you would never know what beautiful scene lay just around the corner that would take your breathe away.
I'm not really sure what the meaning of this post is, but sometimes its therapeutic to look back at the life I used to live, to remember how I felt and how things have changed. Sometimes I long to be back at these times, when all the troubles I had were from stupid boys and Uni deadlines. Where I was free to travel when and where I wanted, to be working on projects and practicing my art. But mainly I'm just glad I managed to experience them in the first place, to have a friend by my side to share it with and be thanlful that I took the chances.
I know I can find the same inspiration today, and there are so many adventures and trips waiting to happen. I just need to get out of the winter slump, to blow away the cobwebs and show Theo the same wonder that we experienced. And that's what makes me happy to be living in the here and now, knowing that I have someone I can share and show all this to, to see the excitement through their eyes and not just my own. However much I miss being a careless twenty-ish year old, I know that if I went back now I would long to be where I am today. I don't think I will ever loose my wanderlusting tendencies, I just need to learn to channel them in a different way, and hopefully inspire the same in Theo.
*sigh* I know that feeling all too well...ReplyDelete
I can relate to this, although i feel like I didn't have very much time in between being a child and being a mother to really know what that sort of adventure feels like. I always say I'll do it with my family!ReplyDelete
I just had a little peek at your blog, and am going to read up now, looks beautiful!Delete
Great post and exactly how I feel. I remember when we could just go away on a whim but now we have to think about whether we can sterilise bottles etc. I really look forward to going on adventures with the little one though and know that it will be so much better as a family than as a couple xReplyDelete
P.S you should come back to these trips and share all your stories ;)ReplyDelete
I will definitely try and tell some of the stories! yes travelling with a little one is both stressful and exciting (much like travelling itself!) but worth it I think, and so important to show them the world around them! xDelete
I remember hearing someone on the radio, once, saying how they always felt a bit strange when they took a really adventurous holiday, like even in the moment they were consciously building memories. It rang so true to me, but i think that's the best thing about travel - it goes on colouring your everyday experience for years after. Nostalgia's not always a bad thing! xxReplyDelete
no I totally agree, I love a good dose of nostalgia! It's so easy though to look back with rosey glasses at how it used to be, where in fact I think i'm a lot happier where I am today compared to where I was before. I think a lot of it is my inability to face up to the fact that my life has changed quite a lot, and my not still in my early twenties! But I love travel, and the great thing about it is that it is something that will always be there, to pick up from at some point and create all those new memories!Delete
As I didn't have Coco until I was 32 I had my whole twenties to 'live life' and I kind of did - but now, looking back, I feel I wasted so much time. I don't want to regret anything as that just feels like a waste of energy, I can't go back and change things now, but it really spurs me on to try to make the absolute MOST of my life now (so that I have no regrets in the future). You always set me thinking with your posts like this one...ReplyDelete
it's such a tricky one isn't it? I feel like I took quite a lot of chances and opportunities when I was younger, and for that I'm glad because I never really put things off for another time. I guess what's hard for me now is that I had the freedom to take the opportunities and now I feel I don't as much, or that the chances aren't there as much! But it's just something I need to figure out I think, a way to satisfy my itchyness in different ways. But I've always been this way, especially at this time of year! and the first chance to travel and go on an adventure, you bet I'll be taking it - family in tow!Delete
Soon you'll be able to take him with you on new adventures. Imagine seeing new things through his eyes! I can't wait for those adventures to begin. xReplyDelete
p.s. Next time you're in wales, travel a little further west and come see me! x
yes definitely!! I know adventuring is going to be so much better exploring all the places with Theo, just wish the spring would hurry up!Delete
I read a quote this morning that reminded me of your post...."never let your memories be greater than your dreams" - doug ivester.ReplyDelete
that's a very good quote, might have to write that one out to remind me daily! thank you xDelete