A decision (sort of) made

So as you all know the topic of going back to work has been a big (stressful) one with me. I don't really have a job to go back to, and don't have a nursery place sort out for Theo. I have been totally unsure about what to do, and recently have been getting upset at the thought of leaving my baby in the hands of someone else.

So I think I have decided not to go back to work, just yet. The reasoning behind this, is well mainly that I don't want to, but if I were to go back to work and make enough money to cover nursery fees and still make money on top of that, I would have to go back for nearly full time. There is no way I feel comfortable about leaving my 7 and a half month old baby (what he will be when my maternity leave runs out) for nearly full time hours every week. Plus he will be pretty much dependent on me for feeds, as weaning is going to take a while. So I would have to spend most of my free time pumping to make sure he had enough food for the days, regardless of the fact he won't take a bottle anyway, so not sure how that would work out anyway.

It would then mean that I was going back to work, putting Theo into full time care, all for the sake of having a bit more money. With Theo still not sleeping well at night, waking up 3 or 4 times a night, I don't know where I would get the energy to work 8 hours a day, then come home and pump, then look after and spend time with Theo and Rob. I think I would have to turn into superwomen.

Like I said before, if I had a definite job to go back to, with regular hours, and a job I actually enjoyed, then it might be more of an option, but for now, there is no job or any of the above.

So as a solution to the money side, I think I'm going to try and open an online shop, selling 'vintage' items of clothes (hopefully) and perhaps aimed towards the pregnant and post-natal market...possible?..we will see? But then I can register myself as self employed. Hopefully I will make some money from the shop, that would be the DREAM. But we'll take it as is comes really.

So that's the plan. If anyone has any tips and advice please PLEASE offer it, as this is a scary decision, and will mean probably more of a struggle with money, but hopefully it will be ok, with a little help. Or you know if anyone wants to pay me to write my blog and winge about things, that would be great...thanks. ( never going to happen)

Will do an update about other things soon! I promise!


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